


To Dance Among the Stars

by MyWordsKnowWhatYouReadInTheDark



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Brendon Hux, Fluff, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, myspace au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 21:55:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14902745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyWordsKnowWhatYouReadInTheDark/pseuds/MyWordsKnowWhatYouReadInTheDark
Summary: Kylo gets an idea how Hux and him can feel closer without either crossing boundaries.  Hux agrees to the experiment. | Part of the unofficial MySpace AU fanon. |  July '18 Updated: Typos fixed. Still pinching myself and on cloud nine that this received Horatio's accolades.





	To Dance Among the Stars

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Scientifically Proven](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7707865) by [porcelain_cats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/porcelain_cats/pseuds/porcelain_cats). 



> About half of this story won't make any sense if you are unfamiliar with the source material.  You can go ahead and try reading my fic, but I think you'll find this Hux a bit hard to relate to if you haven't read the [Not Quite Right - The MySpace AU](https://archiveofourown.org/series/494329) or any of the related fanfics. (Nor will you understand the full scope behind the 'experiments.')
> 
> Many thanks to the wonderful [porcelain_cats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/porcelain_cats/pseuds/porcelain_cats) / [horatiosroom](http://horatiosroom.tumblr.com/) for sharing their version of these two characters, and their own personal story with the rest of us.  It has meant so much to many of us and created a safe space to be ourselves. 
> 
> This originally spawned from the image in my head of Kylo leading Hux through the woods.  Very sweet, innocent, the dappled sun shining down on them.  (The right word isn't pastel, but close enough. washed out greens and browns. Soft colors.)  It was their fourth time out there to that place.  This takes place much later though when they are 19 and 20.  (Takes place well after 'Scientifically Proven'.)
> 
> Rated M just to be on the safe side. (Personally, I rate it Teen.)

 

 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

 **To Dance Among the Stars**  
an ode to the (Star Wars) Kylux MySpace AU

  
  
  
Kylo was mostly on top of Brendon as they lay there on his bed having a quiet lazy moment just soaking each other in, Kylo's hands languidly roaming over Hux's shoulders, Brendon's laced over Kylo's back.  
  
Kylo was thinking back to last weekend's dance.  He had been so caught up in the music, the beat made it feel like he was floating in the abyss, nearly rock hard feeling like he could connect with Bren in that moment despite the distance they were apart.  It was pure ecstasy; the moment, not the drug.  Then someone had sidled up to Kylo and he jumped, completely startled.  It was so unlike himself, used to being in his element at these things.  But right then, all he wanted was his Brendon, not someone else touching him; not when everything felt so special. He felt his phone buzz.  After getting the other rave goer to go grind on someone else Kylo checked it.  
H: Is everything okay? Felt odd.  
K: Yeah, miss you.   
He could almost feel Brendon's snort and resisting calling him dirty names and telling him to come home.  
One of the other dancers had noticed Kylo's reaction and not so slowly danced her way over to him. "Hey sweetling, everything okay," she half yelled into his ear over the music.  Kylo nodded, but she took his hand and led him to a relatively quieter space. "So you were blissed out eh?" "Yeah," Kylo explained the feeling, and that he wished he could maintain that with his boyfriend in person.  She explained that he could, and what he had to do.  
  
He wasn't quite sure he believed her, but he wanted to try.  He loved those little small moments of connecting.  And this, this right here, plus the intensity of orgasm... Who wouldn't want that.  And Brendon tried, so hard.  And Kylo wants to show him that he really did understand, that he wasn't just being nice.  That it must be hard for Brendon to believe that, having a hard time trusting, seeing that lying came so easy to everyone else.  
  
"Bren?"  
"Hmm?"  
"I'd like to try something."  
"Okay."  
They had both been experimenting with each other for a few years now. Hux on Kylo since the very beginning and over time he got comfortable enough to let Kylo try things with him as they got to know each other better.  Brendon figured letting Kylo _try_ was the least he could do since Kylo was gracious enough to let Brendon try things no 'sane' person would have.  
  
A long few moments and Kylo just continued nuzzling his soft hair on Brendon's chest.  
  
"Well?" Brendon asked impatiently.  Sometimes all his shy boyfriend needed was a little prompting, but that had been forever ago; now Kylo usually got to whatever physical atrocity it was against Hux's person immediately or close to it.  Most of which he usually end up liking, surprised he did since thoughts about it never occurred to him and if he had seen other people in the act, it just looked disgusting.  
  
Kylo lifted his head and looked into those beautiful sky disks. "Oh."  "Sorry, not right now... It's going to take some preparation.  I need to finish planning it out."  
  
Hux stared dumbfounded as Kylo laid his head back down.  Did his boyfriend just use planning _and_ preparation in the same breath?!  He may not have joked about alien abductions in his head, but he did feel a pang of pride that he may be wearing off on him yet. But it was mostly confusion.  Kylo just did _not_ do plans; he was spontaneous and in the moment.  
.  
  
It took a couple weeks, but finally Kylo had everything he needed, including one amazing grudgingly accepting cute boyfriend.  Hux hadn't stopped insisting on at least some explanation though.  Once given though it only annoyed him more, it didn't make any sense.  Sex without sex, not-physical yet they'd still be touching.  It was dumb.  Still, Kylo knew that Hux needed something or it would drive his scientific mind nuts.  Brendon thrived on answers and hated being kept in the dark.  
"Do you trust me," Kylo had asked.  
It was relative, but Brendon trusted Kylo more than any other person on the planet. A lot more. "Yes."  
"Then grant me this. I'm hoping it'll work. The more I've thought about it, the more sure I am it'll work.  But either way, think of it as an _experiment_." Kylo pleaded.  He was putting so much work into this, and it really meant a LOT to him.  He was hoping it would mean a lot to the BOTH of them.  
"Okay," Brendon reached out softly placing his fingers on Kylo's lips.  Kylo took Brendon's fingers into his, pulling them down gently and leaned in to chastely land his green and black striped ones against Hux's.  
.  
  
The day arrived and Kylo was already nervous.  As he pulled into park, Hux crossed his arms.  Kylo reached to touch him in a comforting gesture.  "Hux?"  He still looked pissed.  "Bren, c'mon."  
" _This_ is our special spot Ky-lo," he seethed and spat out the name.  
"And I don't think what I have planned is going to taint that."  
"We won't know until it happens."  
"Bren, I've put a lot into this, I wouldn't want to risk it if I wasn't so sure."  
Hux had to admit, The past couple weeks Kylo had been lost in thought a lot, and often busy and secretive online.  Often giving the answer of 'planning.'  He didn't think he'd even seen Kylo try so hard at his college admittance exams.  "Fine," Brendon relented, getting out of the truck.  
.  
  
Despite the impracticality of it Hux let Kylo lead him through the woods by the hand; he knew the other enjoyed the feeling and he couldn't help but indulge him.  Brendon liked the contact too, but silly acts like this he could save for when they weren't at risk of falling face first and impaling an eye on a stick. His annoyance bled away as the fresh air filled his lungs, and the sounds of the forest washed over him.  And unlike with anyone else, Kylo's giddiness was infectious.  Brendon was far from giddy, but he was becoming a pleasant happy.  The dapple sunlight and shadows played over Kylo's strange fashion, making the neon stand out and flashy for little moments.  His extensions reminding Brendon of caterpillars, (fitting since he was actually wearing a couple butterfly barrettes today,) Kylo himself like a bird flitting through the wilderness.  
  
They were only about five minutes away when Kylo paused, or it would have been five minutes.  Kylo pulled out a blindfold. Brendon looked at it skeptically as Kylo held it out.  
"What are you doing?" Hux asked with disdain.  
"C'mon" Kylo whined, jumping up and stomping dramatically.  "It's . a . surprise."  
"Kylo, I've seen these woods more than 100 times."  
"Not like this, you haven't!" Kylo insisted.  
Brendon raised a skeptical eyebrow.  
"Just put it on... I know you don't quite 'get' romantic gestures, but let me try okay.  Even if you don't feel it, I know you'll understand the concept, paleeeeeze."  
"A blindfold isn't going to change how I see the woods." He had learned long ago how to use all his senses and often took the time to just listen, or just feel.  But, he took the blindfold from Kylo anyhow seeing how important this was to this other amazing beautiful human being.  
When it was tied in place Kylo pressed his blood red lips on Brendon's, lacing the fingers of both hands through the others nimble ones, and pulled them behind him to leave there, wrapping his arms around Brendon for a gentle hug, Kylo placing his head on Brendon's shoulder.  "Thank you," he said softly in a near whisper.  
He pulled out of the hug, tracing his fingers down Brendon's arms, fingers lacing together again, "Now if this, this thing I want to try, is going to work," Kylo continued, "Bren, we're going to have to be totally honest _and_ open with each other. Completely today. got it?"  
Hux wasn't used to Kylo sounding so serious.  Sure, he had his moments, but they usually happened when he was high, and he could smell that was not the case.  Brendon would have been impressed at how much thought it seemed Kylo really was putting into whatever this was.  Except he was on the verge of hyperventilating.  He felt the weight of Kylo's words.  And sure they had come a long way.  But there were still things he felt too scared to voice too often, he still held the self doubt, the worry that somehow the rest of the world would find out and that he'd be locked away.  He really wasn't a bad person, he wasn't violent, he didn't want to _hurt_ others.  And only Kylo had been brave enough to look past the surface and see who Brendon truly was.  To even _try_ to understand.  Kylo's soft hand on his cheek pulled him out of the rabbit hole he was going down.  Kylo didn't even have to say it any more for him to hear the calming voice telling him to 'breathe.'  
"I got you Brendon.  I'm not going to let you fall."  Kylo wrapped Hux in a hug again.  "I'm here and I'm not letting you go."  He had been planning on saving some of these words, but he knew Bren needed them now.  "Today is about understanding.  Showing how much we understand each other, and helping the other see even deeper."  He kissed Brendon's nose.  "I'm not going anywhere without you Brendon.  We're in this together."  
In a rare moment Hux felt tears welling.  Kylo had found just the right words that he needed to hear when it felt like his chest was being torn apart by a million electrified army ants, and his mind was stuck in a silent scream.  He was glad for the blindfold.  He still felt uncomfortable with these emotions, even in front of Kylo.  How could you explain them to someone else when you hadn't even reconciled them with yourself?  
Kylo took Brendon's right hand, and pulled it under his shirt, placing it over his heart.  
  
When Brendon's breathing evened out Kylo asked, "okay now?"  
"Yeah," Brendon replied quietly.  He was still surprised sometimes that the ever rambunctious, totally wild, always on the move, Kylo Ren put up with him.  ...That he could be absolutely still and patient when Brendon needed him.  "And I'll try okay."  
"No trying.  We have to Bren for it to work," Kylo pleaded softly.  
Brendon reached out slowly and put his hands on both sides of Kylo's head and brought their foreheads together.  "Okay."  
  
Kylo continued leading them closer to their spot, and Brendon could hear in the distance the water bubbling over the rocks in the brook, just a ways up from the calm pool.  
"Wait here," Kylo said, placing his hands on Brendon's shoulders.  A crunching of leaves and he hopped off.  He called back over his shoulder, "...and no peeking!!!"  A few footsteps, then he'd stop, and there'd be a smaller rustling on the ground. This repeated over and over, Kylo getting further and further away.  Many minutes it took to make his way back, in the same pattern, but a bit to the left.  
Finally Kylo came bounding back over noisier than a deer crashing through a thicket. "Okay, you can look now!"  When Hux pulled off the blindfold, Kylo was grinning ear to ear.  There was a lighted path leading from the trail to a spot near the stream.  One of those personal netted sleeping spaces set up near the bank.  The lights that led to it were those tiny plastic tea lights, every other one white with a soft yellow flame, then metallic with changing bright LED colors.  In between each one of those were rubber or plastic anatomically correct hearts (and sparingly a few other faux organs.)  Brendon's mouth hung open.  The candles he had learned over time with Kylo's tutelage were meant symbolically as a romantic gesture (of course Kylo would have to add his own touch,) a thing that usually melted most people's hearts.  With having it explained enough times, Kylo knew that Brendon would intellectually get what he was going for.  And there, Kylo went and used something that would have meaning to Brendon.  The intent made clear by the candles, that Kylo was _trying_ to be romantic; that it wasn't just some off handed gesture 'oh hey, I know you like organs, so here you go.'  They weren't _Kylo's_ heart, but it was indeed sweet all the same.  
Kylo was about to ask if Brendon liked it, when Bren reached out, pulling in Kylo by the bottom mandible, smooshing their lips together, and sliding his tongue into Kylo's mouth, winding his own tongue with Kylo's for a few seconds.  It left Kylo nearly breathless.  Not only did Brendon initiate the kiss... but he initiated one of _those_ kisses.  
Brendon pulled out of the kiss, "Thank you," he said warmly, looking Kylo in the eyes briefly, before letting go.  
  
Kylo led him by the hand towards the 'tent'.  The dulcet sound of the water as it entered the languid pool, greeting them as they got closer.  
  
Kylo sat on a blanket set up next to it, sitting cross-legged, pulling Brendon to sit down next to him.  
  
"Now Bren, like I said, we're going to need to be completely open with and to each other during all of this.  Not only do I need to be a good subject, but you'll need to be too.  We can't come to proper conclusions without all of the data."  
'Damn Kylo using my own words against me.'  Still Brendon was so proud of his boyfriend in that moment.  
"We're going to start off just talking, telling each other why and what we mean to the other."  Kylo paused, blushing, "Then, after that we'll get to the smexy stuff."  Not that intimacy wasn't sexy in its own right. (Really this whole thing was about intimacy... but he was referring to the to-the-side-of-sex stuff.)  
Hux nodded.  He could do this... he hoped.  He laughed.  After all this time Kylo still blushed.  He was always outwardly so eager, yet internally was so modest.  What a strange paradox, Brendon mused.  
  
Kylo pulled Brendon closer to have him to lean against Kylo, wrapping his arms around Bren.  "I'm so grateful that you gave me the chance to know you.  That even when you pushed me away, you let me back in.  That despite my own darkness you still accepted me.  Despite our differences, you still love me; that we found a way to be together.  We learned together how to be.  Brendon, that you seen my insides as being worthy of your touch, that you would grace my skin and stuff with your scalpel, gift my blood, muscle, and bone with the touch of your fingers.  I feel honored to be the one that all that your gaze falls upon.  I am humbled, that you took the chance to find ways to mutually make me happy, constantly trying scary new physical things.  You don't try to change me, and though you quip about my looks, that you truly accept me for who I am.  That you put up with my energy and endless talking.  That you put up with me at my most needy.  Brendon, you have my heart, in all ways that it is possible.  I just wish I could give you more."  
Brendon reached up to stroke under Kylo's jaw.  "Is that all?"  He said it in amusement and wonder.  
"Is that a joke from the stoic Hux?" Kylo quipped back.  
Brendon snorted, "Don't get used to it."  
Kylo leaned forward and asked for a kiss.  Brendon turned his face toward Kylo to oblige.  
  
He sat for a couple moments thinking. "Kylo, you have been my rock. A perfect subject, helping me understand the world and people in it.  You never found any question too heinous.  I didn't think I'd ever find someone I could open up to and at every turn you surprised me.  You never abandoned me.  You seen past all the blood and cutting on the surface to what I truly want.  You don't see a monster, but you see my heart.  You see how I love.  When life is too much, you've made me push past my fears.  You were a lifeboat in uncertain seas.  With all my 'faults' sometimes I don't know how you could ever be attracted to me, but yet you are.  I'm a mess, and yet you still see something. Kylo, you are kind, sweet, caring, funny, beautiful.  More than I deserve."  
Kylo interrupted, "stop that.  Only I get to decide what I want. And I totally want you. And you are a wonderful human Brendon, and don't think for one moment otherwise.  You may be different, but there is nothing _wrong_ with you."  Kylo kissed the top of Brendon's head.  
"Said one weirdo to the other."  
"Nope, deflecting won't work either," Kylo chided.  
Brendon huffed.  "I am intelligent.  I am meticulous.  I am thoughtful."  
"There's a good boy," Kylo cooed.  
"Shut up."  
"I mean it Brendon, it wasn't that long ago it took you a whole day and a bucket of tears or armfuls of scratching to come up with the 'Three Good Things.'  You're getting a lot better at it."  
"Fine. You're turn."  
"I wasn't the one saying bad things about myself."  
"You weren't?"  
Kyo sighed.  When he thought about it he guess he had.  
"Fine.  I'm sexy, I'm fun to party with, and I have good taste" Kylo listed them off confidently and chipper.  
"You left out a really important one."  
"I did?"  
"That you're a great boyfriend."  
"Oh, I am, am I?"  
"You are," Hux trailed his fingers up to Kylo's face and they ended up in another long chaste kiss.  Hands started to roam and they ended up tangled up together, laying on the blanket.  
They talked for another half hour about all the ways they were important to each other.  Brandon opening up more and more.  It becoming clear that Kylo understood him more than he realized.  He had marveled at it.  He wondered if maybe Kylo felt the same things.  No, Kylo explained; Brendon was just that passionate and articulate about it, that he made it easy for Kylo to understand.  Kylo said he was also seeing with his heart.  The meaning almost lost on Brendon, but Kylo gave him time to chew it over.  By heart, Kylo meant the emotion part of the brain, specifically the part that made the chemical reaction that bonded people together.  Not as in actual molecular bonding, rather the chemical process in the brain that released endorphins.  That and the one that could extrapolate conclusions based on witnessing experiences (deductive reasoning,) even when there were no similar ones to draw on.  Otherwise known as empathy in this case.  Kylo cared enough to have empathy.  Kylo was seeing Brendon with real empathy.  Not just taking the time and being sympathetic.  It was a rare thing for Hux to even understand someone else.  Empathy was almost a foreign concept to him, except he had a few rare epiphanies.  Brief fleeting glimpses into the "real world" of "normalcy."  
.  
  
It feels truly special to be loved, admired, and cherished by someone so much.  
.  
  
When they had started to repeat themselves and still in a state of emotional bliss, when they realized that no more could really be said on the matter for now, in a sober moment Kylo softy asked Brendon if he was ready to try the next thing.  Brendon was lost in the daze a moment, so content with the conversation they had been having.  Then he remembered that indeed Kylo had been planing more. He nodded.  
  
Kylo was taking off his belt, (he was only wearing one today,) and taking off some jewelry.  Brendon started to get undressed.  "No Bren, leave your clothes on, we don't need distractions.  Your boots will be fine though."  Brendon was already giving a puzzled look.  "Just getting comfy, that there'll be nothing to hurt us, or get snagged on getting in the way."  
"You know you're making absolutely no sense."  
"What, that hard objects hurt getting jabbed into things?"  
"No, how many phases are there to this?" Brendon asked exasperated.  He wasn't being impatient, he just wanted to know.  
"Just these two."  Kylo was a bit hurt, but he knew Brendon's frustration had more to do with a lifetime of constantly trying to struggle to grasp other peoples motives.  Hell, this was a hard concept for any normal person to grasp.  He didn't expect Bren would right away either.  He hated keeping him in the dark, but he really wanted it to be a surprise.  
"But our clothes are staying on?  You said there would be sex."  Not disappointed, just stating the facts.  
"Yes, and sort of.  It is, but it isn't.  It's for intimacy, not procreation if that makes any sense."  "I think it's one of those things better explained in demonstration.  I don't know Bren, I obviously have never done this before." Kylo ended at his wits end.  He didn't want to point out that it was an idea from a rave kid, and Hux didn't hold much stock in their high ramblings.  
"Well, I suppose an experiment won't hurt."  Brendon said, trying to meet Kylo half-way.  "I still think it's an absurd idea."  
"You haven't even heard how it is supposed to work Bren!"  
"I said I'll try it didn't I?"  
"Yeah."  
Brendon walked over to Kylo, taking some of the jewelry out of his hand and dropping it into the bag a his feet; tracing his fingers gently over Kylo's lips.  Kylo leaned his forehead on Brendon's.  
"You're such a stoner sometimes."  
Kylo smiled and chuckled.  
  
"Okay, so we'll take turns, one experience at a time.  We share what our ideal sexual experience is, set aside worries about being judged, when we're talking, that is our time, the other person tries to act it out for them.  Simple enough right?"  
"Yeah, and this is supposed to bring us closer?"  
"I know... It sounds basic, but Brendon, the point is about connecting, opening ourselves up.  The one talking is showing trust, and the one listening is showing they understand."  
"I see. and what of our hands?"  
"They stay above the clothes for the most part.  Well, I mean, we can touch... we just don't grope."  
Brendon nodded now starting to get the picture.  
"Kylo, I think we can do this with most our clothes off, I want to feel you."  
"Speak for yourself, I can't trust my own hands."  
Brendon chuckled. "Okay, but let me point out we've been coming to this spot for a while and you've behaved yourself."  
"Yeah, but supposedly it gets intense."  "Hey, I was thinking of going first anyhow so that my experience wouldn't ruin yours." Hux was about to interject but Kylo stopped him. "It could, I went over it a million times.  trust me.  I'm being scientific about it.  But I go first, then for your experience we get undressed."  
"That actually sounds good."  
  
Before Kylo had even really started describing his perfect scenario Hux was already picking on him, "So your fantasy sex includes bug netting?"  They had moved "indoors" and were laying next to each other on a sleeping bag, kind of smooshed together in the cramped quarters.  Kylo hadn't really thought it out about the logistics of some of the positions and things that he'd be bringing up.  
"No you doofus, my ideal sex involves not getting Malaria or Lyme Disease."  
"Noted."  
"So Bren," Kylo started hesitantly.  
"Go ahead Kylo," Brendon encouraged.  
"Umm..." Kylo chewed on his lip and played with one of the piercings with his tongue. "So I don't want to have to explain a lot of how I'm feeling during this.  I just want to be in the moment."  "But I promise I'll memorize it all and tell you later when we're back home," he hurriedly added.  
Brendon nodded, it wouldn't be the most accurate later, but this was for Kylo right now.  
Then Kylo launched into the beginnings of a makeout session, followed by some oral, and this weird thing he wanted Brendon to do with his finger, and some very graphic descriptions of thrusting.  Kylo wasn't all that surprised, but yet he still was at how well Brendon played along.  Brendon now understood why Kylo wanted to keep his clothes on.  They were in the middle of some humping and very passionate kissing after Brendon had whispered the sweet names Kylo had actually been longing for Brendon to call him when he started seeing the stars at the edges of his red hot vision. Before he knew it, he was calling out Brendon's name, pleading, begging, wantonly.  His body on fire. It was a damn good orgasm, and one of the best he had in a while to be honest.  He was surprised when he checked, to see just how little of a mess he had made.  
They lay there snuggling for a bit while Kylo came down.  
  
"Your turn Kylo whispered."  
Brendon started tugging at his own shirt, Kylo placed his hand on Brendon's wrist stilling it.  "No, out there."  
Kylo let Brendon set his clothes on the blanket where the other thought Kylo would probably want to lay.  But this was Brendon's turn and when they were done (still clad in their underwear) Kylo led him to the forest floor.  "Better here, isn't it?"  
"Yeah, but I thought..."  
"Shush, I promise not to get freaked out.  For you today I'm letting go."  Kylo placed his fingers on Brendon's lips briefly before stroking his cheek.  
Brendon was already getting emotional from it.  It was a thoughtful gesture, and one he could hardly fathom Kylo trying to push past.  He pulled Kylo down on top of him, giving a chaste kiss then rolling over top of him.  He kissed Kylo's nose.  "So really, anything."  
"Anything," Kylo affirmed, pulling a small plastic scalpel from where Brendon didn't want to guess.  
His eyes began to water.  "You really did think of everything didn't you."  
"Yeah," Kylo whispered softly.  Then added, "Sorry, I didn't get a cadaver, but I figure that's not the same anyhow."  
"No, no it's not." Brendon leaned down to softly press his lips on Kylo's, a tear dropping onto Kylo's cheek.  
Kylo knew.  A cadaver would be like jerking off to porn.  It would only mean something if Brendon could be inside Kylo. Feel Kylo's own organs, hold Kylo's heart.  
"Do what you want Bren.  Pretend, I'd feel no pain, you couldn't hurt me, no chance of death.  That I'd live through whatever you did.  Know I don't think any of it's wrong.  That you love me and would never actually do anything to hurt me."  Kylo said sincerely to Brendon, tracing his fingers over the other, face, arms, chest.  
"Really?"  
"Really.  It's okay."  
Brendon's heart was beating abnormally fast.  Both in anxiety and excitement.  
"Breathe Bren.  Anything.  I love you."  
So Brendon took deep breaths, then laid on Kylo listening to the much steadier rhythm, calming himself, wrapped in Kylo's warm strong arms.  
Finally feeling better he sat up straddling Kylo's hips.  They nodded to each other.  Finally released from the confines of adhering to norms.  He let it all out.  He started out slowly at first, but as Kylo talked out what he was feeling and the words, freak or monster didn't come out at all, but 'totally cool', 'fascinating' did, he got bolder.  Kylo made some squelching noises as Brendon removed his lungs.  It made him giggle, but his tone was annoyed, "You know that stuff doesn't make those noises," he had performed enough animal autopsies in front of Kylo for him to know that by now.  
"They do on TV," Kylo winked.  
"Shut up, dork! You're interrupting the dissection."  
Kylo giggled, but was quiet other than to give proper feedback.  
For the third time Brendon got lost in the reverie of the feeling of Kylo's blood.  This time it was more intense and he laid his head on Kylo's abdomen, hunching over.  
"Fuck Bren, you are so hawt when yer lusting over my redness.  It makes me want to touch myself.  By the way your hair is now covered in it since you just set your head in me."  
Hux looked up into Kylo's eyes.  
"I wonder if it could make you cum just from running your fingers through your hair like that," Kylo continued.  
"Don't be ridiculous," Brendon drawled straight faced, then smirked, "But it is a turn on thinking about getting covered in it."  He leaned over to give his subject a chaste kiss, "thanks for playing along."  Kylo smiled.  
Brendon continued with collecting his prizes that he would display proudly so that everyone could see how beautiful his boyfriend is and getting them out of the way so he could hold the one thing he really wanted.  
"Oh god, Bren, I can feel it, you're getting closer. You're almost there.  I can feel you drawing nearer.  There's no pain, other than that you're still too far away.  I need you Bren, I need you in me, closer, touching."  
"I'm almost there Kylo, just a few more cuts.  Hold on just a little longer my beautiful boy."  
Granted it was all just gestures. A hand roving there, making the motions.  A piece of plastic against skin now and then.  But to them, in their minds, for now it was real.  
"Oh Kylo it's so beautiful, I'm watching it. Thump thup thump."  Brendon had his fingers on Kylo's wrist, enunciated each 'thump' in time with the actual beat. "May I take it?  I want to hold it.  Forever."  
"Of course Brendon, of course you can take it.  It's yours."  Kylo was crying now.  
Brendon leaned over Kylo kissing his lips again.  He never quite got to the actual motion of taking out Kylo's heart, but he did in his head.  As he lay over Kylo, they locked lips, tongues battling not for supremacy, but trying to reach deeper and to give each other life.  Arms and legs entangled.  
They reached ecstasy together.  Vision white hot, floating among the stars their souls dancing together, where one could see the hopes and dreams, fears and future of the other. Where everything you needed to know was laid bare.  You knew their needs, wants and passions, and you could give it all to them in one breath. They came together in the heavens as one being, not being able to tell where one began and the other ended nor wanting to.  Brendon could feel Kylo there, closer than he had ever been. Closer than he knew was possible. Together they climaxed and it was indeed the best orgasm either one had ever had.  Both absolute sticky messes without even being "touched."  They came down panting.  Laying there holding on to one another.  The feeling of closeness would last for hours at least. (Not as close as when they were among the stars, but still closer than usual.)  
  
The cloud they walked on lasted a couple weeks.  
  
Brendon still was having trouble wrapping his scientific mind around how what happened, happened.  Kylo insisted that some things were just beyond explaining.  (But he did stay true to his word and gave Brendon a complete report on how he felt during his portion of the experiment.)  
  
Whenever Brendon was feeling alone, or not quite close enough to Kylo, he would think back to that day and it would fill him with warmth.  It was still so amazing that someone _truly_ got him.  


 

 

~ F I N ~

 

**Author's Note:**

> Bonus line that got cut from the end: _But... that wasn't exactly a story that they could share at their wedding now was it?_  
> .
> 
> I really hope that I've done horatio's vision for these two justice. (*the emotions!!!*)  
> *Prays to the Gods of Fanfic that the wonderfully talented and amazing author sees this fic and for better or worse blesses it with critique* Please notice Horatio Sempi!  
> (and I don't have tumblr, so I can't go groveling there.)
> 
> (I don't think I got Kylo's voice quite right, but other than my usual drift, losing lines I thought of that inspired me to write in the first place, that goes on in my writing process, I'm overall happy with the outcome.)
> 
> .
> 
> p.s. Many thanks also goes to Kripke, Abrams, & Meunier for 'Revolution' & Strausser; without which I may have never found a love for this sub-fandom.


End file.
